Trying these out.
April 18, 1992
Commentary: Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect
- Vince gives Perfect an Easter basket so Curt can make some puns.
Legion Of Doom (w/Paul Ellering) v Dwayne Gill/Barry Hardy
LOD murders them before the match even starts. Genius and Beverly Bros call them sissy in the inset promo. What a sick burn. This was a murder but it was quick. I approve. 1-1
Winner: LOD with a Doomsday Device on future Light Heavyweight Champion Gillberg.
- Update with Gene. We get photos from Savage debunking the previous Flair photos of he and Liz. Flair is exposed baby! We then get video of Flair kissing Liz at Mania as Savage goes nuts.
Chris Hahn v Repo man
Chris has a cool half mullet half rat tail deal. This was kind of garbage. Nothing to it really. Like at all. 1-2
Winner: Repo after a slingshot into the bottom rope.
- Repo puts the rope around Hahn’s neck following the match and drags him around the ring. Eh.
- Mooney is in the event center. Time for the parade of promos!
- Boss Man is about Law, Order and Justice hillbilly style.
- The Model is superior man. What will he be wearing? Wouldn’t you cucks like to know?
- Nailz vignette. The Boss Man is threatened and we as people decide to just let it go.
Tom Bennett v Intercontinental Champion Champ Bret Hart(Non Title)
Shawn and Sherri are in an inset promo want to fix the IC title’s reputation. Bret does a hell of a job getting something entertaining here out of Tom. Bret thinks a lot of himself but matches like this are probably why. 2-3
Winner: Bret with the Sharpshooter.
- Mooney again. Promos baby.
- The Mountie and Jimmy tell a story about the Mountie being IC Champ and him being the Mountie. Not what I would call a story but whatever.
- Bushwhackers are here and they say some weird shit really loudly. People want to be licked?
- Crush vignette. He likes crushing shit. Even when he was a kid. Neat. How did this not work?
Mark Roberts v Berserker (w/Mr. Fuji)
Fuji in an inset challenges Undertaker, I remember that attempted murder. Berzerker walks around a lot and says Huss. Eh. 2-4
Winner: Berzerker with a World’s Strongest Slam.
- WWF fan club spot.
- There are a bunch of kids painted up like the Warrior with Gene. Warrior arrives and these kids look weirded the fuck out. Footage of his Mania return is shown. Warrior threatens Sid I guess. Dude was a weirdo.
Red Tyler v The Model
I want one of those “yes, I am a model” buttons. Red Tyler in his red white and blue tights is like someone mixed Jimmy Delray with Lex Luger with half the charisma of either. This was alright surprisingly. I was shocked too. 3-5
Winner: Model with a Boston crab.
*Get mania VIII on VHS. I had that. We get some bonus material footage.
Texas Tornado v Warren Bianchi
Kerry cuts an inset promo. He’s rededicating his life to all kinds of things that I wish he would have stuck with. Sad. It’s always amazing how well this dude moved considering his handicap. Had he just told people he would have been twice as over. Good old fashioned ass whipping. I dug it. 4-6
Winner: Tornado gets it with a Discus punch.
- WBF Bodystars commercial hanging and banging bruh!
WWF Tag Team Champions Money Inc (w/Jimmy Hart) v Jim Powers and Buck Zumhofe
I hope the champs murder Buck. Fuck that pervert. Powers actually did really well before he tagged in that pedo piece of shit partner of his. Disasters cut an inset promo and they want another shot. Perv got zero offense. Good. Fuck that guy. No point though. 4-7
Winner: Champs retain after a Million Dollar Dream to the rapist.
- Mooney again.
- Rocket Owen Hart promo. I’m sad now.
- Papa Shango needs a comeback man. Shango IS voodoo mother fuckers.
- Undertaker accepts the Berzerker’s challenge. Paul rules by the way.
- Berzerker and Fuji say some shit. Huss.
- Next week! Taker v Berzerker and someone might get stabbed!
Overall Thoughts: Not a bad show. The matches were obviously short but nothing super terrible. Plus it’s less than an hour. What else are we going to do with our time? Something constructive?
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