Hulk Hogan ruins The World’s Largest Toga Party.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentary: Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan and the debut of Jim Ross
Gorilla welcomes us and even though it’s common now, seeing WrestleMania in daylight is still wild.
Everyone makes their entrance with Heenan obviously being the greatest with his.
Intercontinental Championship: (C) Shawn Michaels (w/Luna Vachon) v Tatanka (w/Sensational Sherri)
The haircuts in this match couldn’t be more 90’s if they tried. Not terrible or anything but it got boring and sloppy in several spots. Going as long as they did for a bullshit ending didn’t help. 0-1
Winner: Tatanka gets the count out win.
After the match Luna beat the shit out of Sherri before Tatanka made the save.
Mean Gene is with the Steiners. They sound like morons.
The Headshrinkers (w/Afa) v The Steiner Brothers
Hard hitting as hell. The Headshrinkers looked like badasses and the Steiners seemed to barely survive this match. In the end both looked great and it entertained my old ass so we are on to something. 1-2
Winner: The Steiners following the Frankensteiner.
Gene is with Doink. They recap the fake arm angle with Crush. He says Crush might have double vision before the night is over. FORESHADOWING.
Crush v Doink the Clown
Too many bright colors on the gear. Crush seemed motivated but sadly it didn’t make this suck any less. Another blah match with a bullshit ending sadly. 1-3
Winner: Doink with a pin following an attack from a second Doink.
Bill Alfonso arrives to inform Joey Marella about Doink 2 but sadly he isn’t found.
Todd Pettingill is in the crowd doing Doink research with the crowd.
Razor Ramon v Bob Backlund
To say that this was a clash of styles might be an understatement. Bob looked exactly like what he was. A guy who hadn’t quite caught up with the times just yet. Razor looked like a star but that didn’t help the match be any good. 1-4
Winner: Razor with a small package.
Gene is joined by Money Inc.. Dibiase is rocking the white tux so I’m predisposed to liking it. We recap the Beefcake attack. They insinuate they paid for Hogan’s eye to get messed up.
Tag Team Championships: (C) Money Inc. v Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake (w/Jimmy Hart)
The crowd was super into the return of Hogan and they used every trick in the book to make this interesting. It didn’t work for me though brother. Hogan looked rusty, Beefcake sucked, IRS is boring and Ted can’t carry everyone. 1-5
Winners: Money Inc. by DQ after cheating ass Hogan used a foreign object to try and win.
The “good guys” then team up to beat up an official and pose after the match. Fuck these bully ass sore losing bitches. They then steal the money from the briefcase. Jerks.
Todd is with Natalie Cole. She didn’t get any money and is sad about it. The CEO of Caesar’s is also there and says stuff about things.
Gene is with Perfect. He rules even when he screws up his promos punchline.
Luger’s entrance is so over the top that it rules.
Mr. Perfect v Lex Luger
I enjoyed this way more than I remembered. It wasn’t a five star classic or anything but it’s way better than some of the stuff I’ve had to sit through so far. Perfect rules anyway so I’m giving it a point. 2-6
Winner: Luger gets the pin off a cheap backslide in the ropes.
After it’s over Lex hits him with the loaded forearm deal to knock out Perfect. When Perfect wakes up he goes to the back to get revenge on Luger but in the process gets attacked by Shawn Michaels to set up their deal.
Gorilla hypes up the remaining show.
Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) v Giant Gonzalez (w/Harvey Wippleman)
What. A. Piece. Of. Shit. 2-7
Winner: Undertaker wins by DQ after being taken out with a chloroform soaked rag.
Gonzalez chokeslams the ref following the match. Undertaker is then taken out on a stretcher while the idiot crowd chants for Hogan. Undertaker returns to get revenge on the Giant though and takes him down and send him to the back in fear. I guess. Holy shit.
Gene is back and covers Yokozuna’s reign of terror. Gloryhound Hogan arrives to make sure we know who the real star of the show is. He wants whoever wins between Bret and “the Jap”. Amazing.
Todd is still in the crowd and bothering fans.
WWE Championship: (C) Bret Hart v Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji)
Not a bad match. Especially considering the garbage that was most of this show. Bret was working his ass off to leave a good impression and Yoko was a freak for his size. If only it had ended there. 3-8
Winner: Yoko gets the pin after some salt to the eyes by Fuji.
Then before Yoko could even RAISE THE BELT Hogan comes down and gets involved. Apparently Fuji had brain damage as well because he challenged Hogan to a match for the title right then even though Yoko could barely stand.
WWE Championship: (C) Yokozuna (w/Mr. Fuji) v Hulk Hogan
Man. Fuck this. 3-9
Winner: Hulk wins the title for the 5th time after the combination of poor planning and politics.
Final Tally? 3-9 There was nothing on this show that stood out as memorable in a GOOD way. Definitely one of the lower tiered Manias unless you really are nostalgic for Hulk Hogan.
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