Back on the old short review train. I like this setup a lot better and may stick with it for a while.
December 17, 1995
Commentators: Vince McMahon and The King
- Lawler and Vince welcome us with the usual puns and stuff. Lawler has a surprise for Vince later in the evening. I’m sure that’ll be earth shattering.
- Goldust is in the crowd creeping on Razor.
Sid/The Kid (w/Ted Dibiase) v Marty Jannetty/Razor Ramon
Razor was over as hell. No wonder he wanted a raise. Sid is built for the tag role; as in stay on the apron. It’s fine when he’s not in there and the fans are into it. The Goldust promo in the middle was distracting and took away from the action big time. Seemed like just story and a house show tag. Eh. 0-1
Winner: Razor pinned Sid with a second rope bulldog.
- Sid saves the Kid from the Razor’s Edge afterwards.
- Sunny and Ray Rougeau on superstar line. Man…poor Sunny really just destroyed her own career.
- Some fake confusion in the introduction to the next match and then King hits the ring. Double J is the King’s guest and big surprise. ZERO CROWD response to this at all.. He then gifts JJ a gold record. Jesus. His new album will be titled “Greater than great”. Never heard of it. Jarrett names himself the first Rumble participant and will be sitting in on commentary. This show is less than two hours and they padded the ever loving shit out of it with this crap.
Dean Douglas v Ahmed Johnson
Dean has an injured back so he’s being replaced by his “student” Buddy Landel.
Buddy Landel v Ahmed Johnson
I know he was dangerous but why wasn’t this dude WWF Champion at least for a little bit? My God Ahmed ruled and is literally getting a point for existing. 1-2
Winner: Ahmed following a Pearl River Plunge.
- Douglas gets spanked with his paddle afterwards.
- Lawler wants to interview Ahmed after the match. Shockingly the gold record gets broken over his head after some insults from Jarrett and King. Ahmed makes his own save though be cause look at that dude.
- Todd is with Razor. He has an IC title defense against Yoko on Raw and then Todd gives Razor a letter from Goldust before bouncing. Razor seems upset to say the least.
Hog-pen Match/Hillbilly Jim Special Referee: HHH v Henry Godwin
It’s a match based around slop and hog crap. There you go. 1-3
Winner: HHH wins with backdrop into the pen.
- After winning, the poor bastard gets pressed into hog shit with an open wound on his back. Ugh.
- Royal rumble ad.
- Diesel video package. Diesel fucked.
Owen Hart (w/Jim Cornette) v Diesel
Really good stuff from Nash. When the guy showed this kind of fire he was fun to watch. Owen as always ruled. This was short but fun. 2-4 this really helped with the Diesel story.
Winner: Owen wins by DQ because Nash shoved the referee done after kicking too much ass.
- Hog and HHH on the hotline.
- Dibiase is out for a promo where he calls out Savio Vega at ringside with Santa. Lawler says a bunch of racist shit that honestly he should still be cancelled over among other things. Everyone has a price though and Santa jumps Savio. Yep, this was the introduction of the short lived Xanta Claus. If you don’t remember it you are in the majority. It was Balls Mahoney.
- King Mabel and Undertaker package.
- A young Jeff Hardy looks like he may die carrying Mabel to the ring.
- We take a second so Dok can sell the WrestleMania arcade game. Plus the strategy video!
Casket match: King Mabel (w/Sir Mo) v Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer)
Poor Taker had no chance of making this good. It sucked sooo much. 2-5
Winner: Taker with chokeslams on both dudes and closing the lid.
- He gets the urn chain back (long story) and he wants the belt.
- JR is with Davey, Cornette and Diana. Cornette cuts a great promo, Davy’s was fine and Diana was a robot and not a good one.
- Todd is with Bret. He cuts a decent promo that sounds like magic next to Diana’s.
WWF Championship: British Bulldog (w/ Diana and Jim Cornette) v (C) Bret Hart
Ecw chants early on. Jeeze. The winner takes on the Undertaker at the Rumble. This was some good shit that I can’t say wasn’t helped out by Bret bleeding out in the ring. The brother almost cut his damn head off. 3-6
Winner: Bret with a La Magistral.
- Todd talks with The Undertaker about the Royal Rumble title shot before he is interrupted by Diesel. This was a nice build for Mania.
Final Tally? 3-6. This had way too much filler and other than the main, the shit that was good was way too short. Weak ass show.
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