April 30, 2006
Commentators: Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler
Chris Masters v Carlito
At this point in their respective careers these gentlemen were not the guys to open a PPV with a barn burner of a match. Carlito was competent in the ring at best and Masters was green as grass with hardly any actual in ring ability. These guys were being built as the future at the time, I’d say this was a swing and a miss with that. Not the best way to start a show. I do miss Carlito though. 0-1
Winner: Carlito pinned Masters after a Backstabber with his feet on the ropes for leverage.
- After the match Maria interviews Edge and Lita about the main event. We learn two things from this interview, Edge thinks he will win and Lita’s shirt is held together by prayers, obviously not any male prayers though.
Umaga (w/Armando Alejandro Estrada) v Ric Flair
This was starting to look like the end for Ric, one of the greatest wrestlers who ever lived looked slow and old in this one. Umaga was always an under rated talent and showed it in this match. The Samoan Bulldozer was scary enough against a normal dude, but it seemed plausible that he may kill this old man and that is what made the match decent. Ric was crazy for doing this as long as he did. No wonder he is the way he is now. Umaga would be crazy over now. 1-2
Winner: Umaga pinned Flair after the Samoan Spike.
- Vince and Shane discuss their “Tag Team” match later and Shane is clearly weirded out. Vince (who is Donald Trump orange) walks on water, does a neat trick with the loaves and fishes and finally turns Shane’s water into wine. Shane made this somewhat watchable with his reactions to this madness.
WWE Women’s Championship: (C) Mickie James v Trish Stratus
Well at least the ladies get to wrestle this year. Unfortunately they get no time to do anything worthwhile. Trish and Mickie were both great in the ring so them not getting any time to work is pretty inexcusable. The only worthwhile part of the match is Mickie wearing her Nikki Bella memorial short shorts for this battle, they almost weren’t legally long enough to be called shorts. 1-3
Winner: Trish wins by DQ because Mickie would not stop choking her.
- Shawn is interviewed about his upcoming blasphemy fest against Vince and Shane and proves why he is a legend by being even more orange than Vince was earlier. I think they fell asleep in the same spray tan booth.
Money in the Bank briefcase/WWE Intercontinental Championship: (C) Shelton Benjamin v Mr. MITB Rob Van Dam
Both of these guys are phenomenal athletes and told a good story out there. RVD was being built up for a championship run in the near future so putting him over was the correct way to go, not sure that the IC title needed to be defended though. As good as Shelton was he was starting to hit his ceiling as far as what he was able to do in the company. I’m glad Shelton was able to come back after some time away. They still don’t use him correctly though. 2-4
Winner: RVD pins Shelton after the 5-star frog splash and the Van Daminator.
Kane v The Big Show
This was during a crazy time in Kane’s career where May 19 was the worst thing you could say to him due to being in a movie, and a having a significant fake Kane problem. JR on commentary was apologizing for the match and he was right to do so. Big Show was fat as hell and these two had very limited chemistry when they were in decent shape. The match was bad and the ending was terrible. 2-5
Winner: No Contest due to Kane going crazy and Show having to Old Yeller him with a chair.
- Vince continues to perform miracles as he lays his healing hands on Candice Michelle who had a “Chest cold” and was wearing what could only be called a “dress” in a joking manner. Pretty much an excuse to show some breasts on the screen, and I’m curious why they needed an excuse.
Vince/Shane McMahon v Shawn Michaels/God
God got his own very elaborate entrance and Vince made the referee check him for foreign objects. Since the ref didn’t find any, Vince assumed God was cheating so he made the match No Holds Barred. Shawn puts up the good fight when it was two on one but it quickly turns into The Passion of the Kid as Shawn is busted open and attacked by the Spirit Squad as well. Seven on one is a number even Roman Reigns couldn’t overcome, so poor Shawn takes his lumps here. This is all part of the build to the new Degeneration X babyface run. This match was entertaining but for the life of me I can’t tell you why, maybe only God knows. 3-6
Winner: Vince pins Shawn after the Spirit Squad puts him through a table.
- Todd Grisham interviews Cena about how the crowd didn’t seem 100% on his side, the dude retired in the same boat sadly.
- Matt Striker is in the ring to do his teacher bit, Eugene comes down, hilarity ensues and Eugene nails the Stunner. Why yes, it was a waste of time. How did you guess?
Triple Threat/WWE Championship: (C) John Cena v HHH v Edge (w/Lita)
Everyone played the roles they had perfectly. Cena was the tough as nails babyface trying to hold on to his belt. HHH was the veteran trying hard to reclaim the throne he once held. Edge was a scumbag with a hot girlfriend that was going to cheat his way to a win. The match was really good and HHH bled so much I thought he might pass out even watching it a second time. After the match HHH knocked everyone out and dropped some crotch chops in, laying some more seeds for the DX reunion. This was a really good main event and these men earned their pay. 4-7
Winner: Cena pins HHH with a roll up.
Overall Thoughts: This is a show that really needed to use it’s time better. Big Show and Kane needed less, Mickie and Trish needed more and Matt Striker/ Eugene needed none. The two big matches both lived up to the hype so the show was successful overall. The big thing that came out of this was the reemergence of Degeneration X not long afterwards. That comeback made sooooo much money. Not Saudi money but big money none the less.
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