It’s another Friday the 13th week folks! It’s time to celebrate a series of films that defined horror for a generation of weirdos such as myself. These films had it all, bad acting, bloody and ridiculous murders, boobs and most importantly other boobs. We will be celebrating all of these movies today as a show of respect to their contribution to the horror genre. These films were tailor made for the 1980’s slasher films and were all made with the purely artistic intention of making all the money while spending none to make them.


Another year, another Friday. So we’ve seen revenge from both a mother and a son and the bloody mayhem caused by them. How do you continue these movies in a way to keep people coming to watch them in droves? Give the new one a gimmick. Friday the 13th Part III used it’s minimal budget to shoot in 3-D which was not something that was done all that often at this point and did so in California, which if you haven’t been looks NOTHING LIKE NEW JERSEY…AT ALL. Didn’t matter, once again rolling the dice on a cheap slasher movie pays big time for Paramount as this was the 3rd consecutive Friday to easily out perform expectations for what it was. Welcome to Saturday the 14th.

image via bloody-disgusting


Release Date: August 13, 1982

Budget: 2.3 Million

Box Office: 36.7 Million

Back story and Plot: We open this film the day after the events of Part 2. Jason, now like 6 inches taller and 40 pounds heavier, sneaks into a general store to steal some new clothes, and while he is there murders the goofy ass store owner and his curler wearing bitch of a wife. They were supposed to be comic relief but man were they annoying. While in the store they manage to work in some terrible 3-D gags.

After that we meet Chris Higgins and her gang of misfits as they head to the Higgins summer home to hang out for the weekend (why would you buy a summer home at Crystal Lake? Plus a bunch of people were just murdered guys).  So we have Chris, a geek, a hot blooded Latina, Cheech and his girlfriend, plus a pregnant lady with her baby daddy. So there are a lot of potential victims for old Jason.

They come across a fake ass Crazy Ralph on the way,

who tries to warn them but since he is clearly no Ralph? Fuck him.

Chris runs into her old boyfriend Rick at the house so we get a story of a deformed guy attacking her and causing her abrupt exit from Crystal Lake.  Well good, they are already acquainted then. After a run in with a biker gang the kids (and now the gang) get down to the serious business of getting there asses murdered.

The two true highlights being Rick getting his head squeezed so hard his eyeball pops out 3-D style and Shelly’s dumb ass accidentally giving Jason an iconic look to go with his insatiable blood lust. So this is the big event folks, Jason now has a GD HOCKEY MASK.

Survivor Girl: Chris Higgins

Chris had all the qualities that the previous ladies had, feathered hair and a lucky streak. She became the very first brunette to survive so good on her I guess.

How’d she survive?  

Placed a god damn axe in Jason’s head after hanging the son of a bitch. Luckily Jason took his mask off before the fatal blow so we could see both his ugly mug and her reaction to seeing the man that had attacked her previously and driven her from Higgins Haven. Pretty sweet kill really. After dispatching Jason we get a dream sequence where she floats on a canoe and sees Jason coming to get her again until (plot twist) Pamela Voorhees (with her head back) comes out of the water and pulls her under.

Goodnight sweet prince.– image via franchise368




An Idiot’s Opinion: I liked this one better than Part 2. I felt they really figured out Jason as a character in this one better than the last. The 3-D was crappy but no one was expecting Citizen Kane. The only real bad part for me was the fact that CRYSTAL LAKE LOOKED LIKE A POND IN A DESERT. Other than that I’ll put this as number 2 so far.


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