December 6, 1998

London, England

Commentators: JR and the King

Image result for Capital Carnage 1998 logo

 

  • Before we start, there are signs every 2 inches and the crowd is jacked. The Attitude Era may have been bad for in ring product but awesome for fan support.

 

Gangrel vs Al Snow w/Head

This match was an OK opener, with nothing really standing out from a wrestling standpoint other than Al getting his balls clipped on a leap frog attempt on what can only charitably be described as a Tornado DDT.  The crowd was super into this and mostly cheered for Head. Everyone loves Head. Christian and Edge running interference was a fun deal as the Brood was underrated as a group. We do start a running bit for the night as JR insists on telling us everyone who is under 30 to somehow dog WCW. Not sure it helped at all but Vince is gonna Vince. Just for the record, Gangrel was 29 so eat it WCW.

Winner: Gangrel wins after an Edge missile dropkick.

 

  • Mankind is hanging in the apparently cold boiler room discussing the main event and making Anne Boleyn jokes. That joke should have led to a Head appearance.

 

LOD 2000 (Droz and Animal) vs The Headbangers (Mosh and Thrasher)

Droz and his later career ending injury were a sad story so I feel terrible for the man and his family and wish him only the best. That being said, no matter how good he may have gotten as a wrestler later (and honestly he only got slightly better) he was junk here. The entire match was in slow motion and if it wasn’t for the crowd involvement this entire thing would have put me into a boredom coma. Also just so you know… Droz was ALSO 29, suck it again WCW.

Winner: Mosh rolled up Droz after he pushed his own partner out of the ring like a moron.

 

  • After the match, Animal fights Droz for being a moron and costing them the match. Also the fact that Droz was 29 pissed him off. Move on to WCW you fossil! And then suck it.
  • Recap of the previous RAW where Stone Cold and Kane threw Paul Bearer in the sewer where he evolved into a turtle ninja of some sort.
  • Michael Cole is with that turtle and the Undertaker, discussing tonight’s main event. The Undertaker has to be a tough guy for being able to pull off that sick eyebrow ring without anyone giving him shit for it.

 

Val Venis vs Goldust

These guys feuded for months about Val banging his wife, which led to Dustin Runnels going bye- bye and Goldust returning. Terri ended up becoming pregnant and Val denied being the father with the old vasectomy story. Haven’t we all been in that situation?  This entire ordeal ended setting up the Pretty Mean Sisters faction or “PMS” as grown men who were paid to come up a name called them. The highlights of the match were ring announcer Tony Chimmel’s sweet late 90’s mullet and little else. Oh by the way, Val is 27 so he’s definitely not old. So WCW, you can, well, you know.

Winner: Val gets the roll up win after a failed Shattered Dreams.

 

  • After the match Goldust hits the Shattered Dreams kick to the balls.
  • We get a recap of Vince speaking to Oxford University which has to be the highlight of that institutions history.
  • Vince, Shane and the Stooges join us to make some changes to the show and mock England in general. To recap this, HHH loses his title match and now has to wrestle Jeff Jarrett. X-Pac is now in the Championship match in his place. Also English people are dumb, tea time is stupid and apparently special guest Vinnie Jones is George Michaels’ boyfriend. It’s funny that it didn’t take me 25 minutes to type that but it took them that long to say it. Sadly they don’t mention anyone’s age here.

 

Edge vs Tiger Ali Singh

They start this match with Tiger cutting another promo right after 25 minutes of people talking, so that was smart. Poor Edge doesn’t have a lot to work with because Tiger made Droz look like Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat had a wrestling baby compared to this joker. To make everything better and almost save this match I learn that Edge is 25 and Tiger was 27, this shocks me because Tiger moved like he was 47. I get on the bullshit that Vince makes them say now but this was really getting tiresome. Not tiresome enough for me to stop telling WCW to suck it though.

Winner: Tiger gets the victory after a Power Slam with his foot on the ropes.

 

  • After the match, Tiger tries to jump Edge and gets his butt kicked.
  • Michael Cole is in the ring to interview special guest Vinnie Jones. Vinnie was a former English soccer star who became an actor. Apparently they are pimping Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. Vinnie is dressed like every bad guy in a 90’s movie, in all black and a trench coat type thing. I’m saying all this because the interview was a pandering piece of time wasting crap. Plus no one told me how old Vinnie Jones was, which means I can tell no one to suck it.

 

Marc Mero and Jacqueline vs Women’s Champion Sable and Christian

None of this made sense. Marc Mero and Jackie were already broken up and Mero had just lost a match on RAW where he said he was quitting if he lost. They said he was filling his “contractual obligations” here. Sable and Christian made no sense as a team either as Sables tits were good guys and Christian was technically a bad guy. This match had two reasons, the first was to make Sable look good as she got to power bomb Mero again and picked up the win. Reason number two was Jackie was wearing a cut up t-shirt that barely contained her breasts, like at all. So after the match is over, Jackie attacks Sable again and in the weirdest coincidence ever Jackie’s shirt is torn off and her boobs are out for the world to see. Quick side story, when we were in high school the USWA came to do a show in our gym and Jackie (then known as Miss Texas) had a match where her boobs also came out. So this lady liked showing off those tatas. The disappointing part of this is no one on commentary told me how old her boobs were. My guess is less than 30.

Winner: Sable gets the win after a TKO on Jackie.

 

Intercontinental Championship: (C) Ken Shamrock w/Hardcore Champion Big Bossman vs Steve Blackman

These guys hit each other hard and yet still bored me to tears. Poor Steve had negative sixty charisma points for his entire career. Steve stupudly starting shit with the Bossman cost him the match. Bossman was minding his own business when Blackman attacked him like an uncharismatic jerk. There was a guy in the crowd holding a UFC: Ultimate FARTING Champion sign though, which almost saved the entire affair. The guy with the sign was 23, so suck it WCW fans.

Winner: Shamrock got the win with the ankle lock after Bossman swiped Blackman’s ankle with the night stick.

 

  • After the match Bossman attacks again because Blackman was such a jerk.
  • Michael Cole is backstage with Rock eating an apple. This was a generic Rock promo from the period where he does everyone else’s catch-phrases before hitting his own. The apple was 9 months old.

 

Jeff Jarrett with Debra vs HHH with Chyna

This was HHH’s big return after being out for 6 months with a pretty serious knee injury. He looked pretty good here working with bland ass JJ. The match wasn’t spectacular, as they focused mainly on Debra trying to interfere and their brand new “Chyna’s Tits Cam”. Chyna’s tits were 2 by the way.

Winner: HHH with the Pedigree.

 

  • Michael Cole talks with Stone Cold about the main event. From what I gathered, Steve hates everyone and will whip their asses. At least he has an ethos Dude.
  • Vignette for former European Champion D-Lo Brown, featuring him touring London. The only new information we get is that Big Ben has been re-named Big D. Big D is also what WCW’s Mom wanted, if you catch my drift. Big Ben was 140 years old at the time so he would TOTALLY fit in with WCW you guys.

 

Tag Team Championship: (C) New Age Outlaws vs D-Lo Brown and Mark Henry

The Outlaws as usual, were amazingly over with the crowd but complete shit in the ring. Match wasn’t anything special other than a nice spot where Gunn had to break up a count for the Dogg and drug him back to the corner afterwards, in what was a smart Tag Team spot. Looked like Dogg may have been hurt on a Henry splash as the ending seemed rushed and screwed up, plus he was selling the ribs hard after the match. I only wish I would have been told everyone’s age so I could judge the match easier.

Winner: Gunn pinned D-Lo, after almost killing him with an ugly piledriver.

 

  • Recap of the Rock and his rise to greatness.

 

WWE Championship: (C)The Rock vs WWF European Champ X-Pac

Crowd was super into this match. They must have a thing for chinlocks or rest holds in general. It was always hard to buy X-Pac against bigger guys no matter how much they tried. After the ref was bumped the speed did pick up a bit before the screw job ending. JR killed it for me by calling it one of the greatest title matches he has ever seen, it had to be great because both guys were 26! Team Eskimo Brother did do a fine job of kicking Rock’s ass at the end of the match, and again after he cut a cocky promo. Shamrock tried to help but to no avail. Cue the DX music.

Winner: The Rock got the DQ win when HHH started kicking his ass for touching Chyna.

 

Fatal 4-Way, Special Referee-Gerald Briscoe, Special Ring Announcer-Shane McMahon, Special Time Keeper- Pat Patterson, Special Guest Commentator- Vince McMahon, Special Ringside Enforcers- Big Bossman and temporarily Vinnie Jones and Special K is a breakfast cereal: “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs Kane vs Mankind vs The Undertaker with a Mutant Turtle

Holy shit was this thing over booked in the best way possible. Guest enforcer Vinnie Jones was booted early, due to receiving a red card so he played no part during the match but everyone else in the arena sure did. This was fun and crazy with Vince being hilarious on commentary covering for every time someone screwed over Austin. The wrestling wasn’t great but that was hardly the point of this match. My only fault with the whole deal was watching Mankind take the unprotected chair shots to the head, AND I had no idea how old anyone was. It’s hard to judge something without all the information. Vinnie Jones returns to drink beer with Steve and Earl Hebner to end the night. Multiple curtain calls for Austin finished the show.

Winner: Austin pinned Kane after a Stunner and a shit ton of madness.

 

Overall Thoughts:This was the Attitude Era in its best form. The crowd was crazy, the stadium was full, the matches sucked but the people were entertained anyway. I can’t say this was an all-time great show, but it had fun stuff throughout and other than some un-necessary promos it move along nicely. As far as Attitude Era shows this wasn’t a bad one to sit through.

 

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