Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young
It’s been a while since I did a full review on this. Since I gotta watch it anyway I might as well do it right.
- We start the show with a promo. I’m as shocked as you are. Braun and his posse of increasingly smaller guys arrive to tell us why they teamed up and threaten the SHIELD. This brings out the Hounds and before they get to the ring Interim GM Corbin sends out the people we aren’t supposed to see as important to keep the real stars from fighting. A huge brawl erupts and The SHIELD are taken to jail. Sure they are. 0 for 1
Match 1: Tag Team
Riott Squad (with Ruby) vs. Bella Twins
Notes and Opinion: This match showed a couple of things. The first being that Nikki Bella and her basic ass forearm to the head offense still works really well and she hasn’t slowed down much. The second is that brie has a death wish and should not be attempting dives ever again. She looked bad on the first try but the second almost killed her. Stick to the kicks lady. It wasn’t supposed to be a barn burner it was just set up to make the Bellas look good. They got it half right. 0 for 2
Winner: The Bellas after a Rack Attack 2.0.
- Finn Balor challenges the new GM to a match which will be be in the main event.
- Apparently Bobby Roode and Chad Gable are a team now. I hope this works out. Both guys deserve the TV time. 1 for 3 because at least these things accomplished something.
Match 2: Tag Team
Chad Gable and Bobby Roode vs. Ascension
Notes and Opinion: Konnor talks crap before the match. I thought the Ascension were babyfaces but if WWE doesn’t care then why should I. Stupid me trying to follow the story like a mark. This was short and only there to establish the new team. Chad Gable is the damn man and should be dominating 205 Live if they screw this push up. I 100% am behind these guys as a team if they figure out how to do it right. 2 for 4 because I love Chad Gable.
Winner: The G&G Connection got the pin following a Rolling Chaos Theory.
- Time for our weekly walk with Elias. Are they using the Elias bits like the old talk shows just to set up a match? Anyway, Alexa comes out for the hometown pop and then to the shock of no one reams on Columbus. She then tears apart, Natty, Trish and Ronda. This brings out Ronda and her pet cat.
Match 3: Single
Natalya (with Ronda) vs. Alexa Bliss (with Mickie and Alicia)
Notes and Opinion: This was OK at best and that may be generous really. They had no time to actually accomplish anything and Natty looked like she is the new leader of the JOB Squad. Plus Alexa’s armbar looks worse than Ronda’s somehow.
Winner: Alexa via armbar submission.
- Ronda gets in the ring post match to save her buddy. To be honest I almost gave this a point due to the complete lack of a shit that Ronda gives to ripping Alicia’s arms out on those throws. My prediction of her getting mildly jumped from behind came to be true. She was able to run the champ off but looked hurt. 2 for 5
- Recap the opening.
- The SHIELD has been finger printed! I hope they show them in a cell with the Mountie.
- Corbin wants his watch cleaned but gets interrupted by The Braun Squad. They want competition. D and D talk themselves into a possible championship match and Braun scares Corbin.
- The Revival get jumped and lose out on their title match. Well, there went my hopes for that title reign. 2 for 6 for the whole deal
Match 4: RAW Tag Team Championships
(C) B Team vs. Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre
Notes and Opinion: They played the Revival’s music at first because no one in production watches the show. The champs got a few hope spots to make it seem like they had a chance but this was inevitable. It took too long to tell the story they wanted. If the Braun squad are killers then make them killers. Don’t make them take ten minutes to beat a joke team, no matter how much you like the joke. 2 for 7
Winner: D&D got the victory and the titles with their combo finish.
- The Authors of Pain and Drake Maverick are a thing now?
- Connor’s Cure video.
Match 5: Tag Team
Authors of Pain (with Drake) vs. Rakib Thompson and Jimmy James
Notes and Opinion: Drake is their new manager and they will win the tag titles. I believe him. Remember the thing I said about killers in the last match? This. 3 for 7
Winner: AOP after a Super Collider in under a minute.
- The same crap from last week where the legends pick the HHH vs Taker match.
- The Bellas check on Rousey and Natty while sounding condescending as fuck. Are they good guys?
- Shawn has arrived to give his pick for the Taker vs HHH match He picks HHH and that draws a return from the Deadman. Undertaker claims Shawn picked HHH because of his ego and retired him. Shawn says the only reason he hasn’t returned is out of respect for Taker. Taker calls BS on that and claims it’s because he’s scared of another Taker ass whipping. I don’t know if it made me want to watch HHH/Undertaker but it damn sure made me want to see Shawn vs Taker again. If you can’t like this I don’t know what to tell you. 4 for 8
- Corbin doesn’t have time to wrestle tonight, so now it is Finn vs Braun. I’m shocked.
- The SHIELD have already been to see a judge. At 10 o’clock. On fucking Labor Day. Sure, seems reasonable.
Match 6: Tag Team
Sasha Banks and Bayley vs. Dana Brooke (with Titus and Apollo) and Ember Moon
Notes and Opinion: They say WWE doesn’t care about tag team matches and yet here we are again. This was fine. It keeps the Sasha/Bayley team looking good and moves the Dana story along. another short match with a commercial in the middle isn’t getting them a point though. 4 for 9
Winner: Sasha/Bayley after a rollup and Titus/Apollo distraction.
- Dana walks away from Worldwide and says she’s done.
- Bobby Lashley is apparently too angry and has to see the Maharajah. Me too now.
- Jinder tries to help Bobby but he didn’t seem like he was digging it. Thankfully our friend Kevin Owens arrive to kick Lashley’s ass. Apron powerbomb time. I’m giving this a point because I love KO, hey it’s my column. 5 for 10
- Shawn/Taker clip.
- Foley returns next week.
- The SHIELD have posted bail. This story continues to impress.
Match 7: Single
Braun Strowman vs Finn Balor
Notes and Opinion: The best match of the night, not like it had competition, but you have to find happiness where you can sometimes. Finn always has the crowd behind him and Braun stalking him like Michael Myers kept the crowd into this. I always liked the fight between Andre and the Man in Black from Princess Bride so this was up my alley. Braun needed this momentum more than Finn did and it helps the Corbin/Finn feud. I’ll call it a win. 6 for 10
Winner: Braun via powerslam.
- The SHIELD arrive in a stolen vehicle to make the save for Finn but got their asses kicked instead. Serves them right for stealing a car.
Overall Thoughts: Well it earned a D. There were a couple of bright spots (Taker/Shawn, AOP) but mostly it was the same old, same old. The SHIELD arrest story didn’t work when it was Steve Austin and doesn’t work now. Not good.