Here is what they have on tap for tonight’s show.

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All of the below is according to WWE.com except for the sarcasm…that’s me.

 

Jeff Hardy returns to confront Randy Orton

“Jeff Hardy was on the receiving end of a vicious attack at the hands of Randy Orton two weeks ago, as The Viper ripped at Hardy’s ear, trying to rip it open in front of the WWE Universe.

Orton explained last week that he intends to write The Charismatic Enigma’s final chapter in WWE, and may get the chance to try and do that sooner than expected, as Jeff Hardy is returning to confront The Apex Predator tonight.

What will happen if Hardy gets his hands on Orton?”

DUDE, HEEL ORTON IS KINDA KILLING IT ON THE MIC RIGHT NOW. YOU KNOW WHO WON’T KILL IT ON THE MIC? BROTHER NERO. 

 

Lana and Zelina Vega go one-on-one

“After coming to blows during last Tuesday’s battle between Rusev and Andrade “Cien” Almas, the war of words between Lana and Zelina Vega continued on social media over the weekend.

Vega took the first swipe on Saturday:

The Ravishing Russian responded one day later:

SmackDown LIVE General Manager Paige announced on Monday that this newfound rivalry would be taken off the internet and into the squared circle. Who will walk out victorious?”

THESE TWO ARE AWESOME MANAGERS BUT I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THIS MATCH.

 

The Usos clash with The Bar in SummerSlam Tag Team Title Tournament

“Last week, The New Day moved one step closer to a SmackDown Tag Team Title opportunity against The Bludgeon Brothers at SummerSlam with a win over SAnitY. The next hurdle will be a match against the winners of this week’s tournament battle, a showdown between The Usos and The Bar.

Jimmy & Jey Uso are looking to once again put the rest of Team Blue on lockdown and win a fourth SmackDown Tag Team Title, while Sheamus & Cesaro are looking to establish themselves as a force to be reckoned with on the blue brand after jumping to Tuesday nights in this year’s Superstar Shake-up. Which duo will advance to face The New Day for the right to challenge Harper & Rowan at SummerSlam?”

I LOVE ME SOME TOURNAMENTS. I’M GOOD WITH WHOEVER WINS THIS ONE.

 

Is Samoa Joe on his way to becoming WWE Champion?

“Samoa Joe made a huge statement last Tuesday, revealing himself as the next challenger for AJ Styles’ WWE Championship by putting The Phenomenal One to sleep with the excruciating Coquina Clutch, then signing his name to the SummerSlam contract. Samoa Joe seemed extremely confident as he said “tick tock” while walking away from the carnage, seemingly counting down the time on Styles’ reign.

How will the WWE Champion deal with such a monstrous challenger when both men are in the same building on SmackDown LIVE?”

LORD I HOPE SO. THE BROTHER HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT GOLD SINCE HIS MAIN ROSTER CALL UP (AND SINCE LIKE 2000 OR SO) AND DESERVES THE RUN.

 

What’s next for Becky Lynch and Carmella?

Becky Lynch made good on her vow to get back in the SmackDown Women’s Championship picture, defeating Carmella last week to earn a title match against The Princess of Staten Island at SummerSlam.

Carmella left the battle with a fat lip (and probably a sore arm), vowing to get back at The Irish Lass Kicker. With three weeks left until her title defense, will The Princess of Staten Island begin to try to make Lynch’s life hell?”

I’M GUESSING CARMELLA COMES UP WITH A BRILLIANT PLAN TO DISTRACT BECKY FOR 11 MINUTES AND THEN “SURPRISINGLY” KICK HER SOMEWHERE NEAR HER FACE. IT’S PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY IDEA THEY EVER HAVE FOR HER.

 

Will Daniel Bryan respond to The Miz’s heinous attack?

The Miz stooped to a new low last Tuesday, using a baby doll to take advantage of Daniel Bryan and flattening The “Yes!” Man with the Skull-Crushing Finale before continuing to insult Bryan and promote the premiere of Miz & Mrs.

Bryan will surely be out for payback on his longtime rival. Will The Miz keep the upper hand, or will Bryan finally get to punch The Awesome One in the face?”

I THINK HE WILL TRY. WHEN HE FINALLY GETS A HOLD OF THE MIZ THAT PLACE WILL EXPLODE.

 

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