November 5, 2006
Commentators: JR and King
Poster Art: Maria
I’ll be out most of the week so I’ll be doing a lot of stuff in advance. Enjoy, future people!
- Todd and Maria introduce the Stipulations and Votes. Maria bounces a lot.
Match 1: Single
Stipulation: Pick the opponent for Umaga
Choices: Kane 49%, Sandman 28% and US Champion Chris Benoit 23%
Umaga vs Kane
Notes and Opinion: My vote was for Chris Benoit since that might have been a good match. There was a little back story to this fight as Kane had lost a loser leaves RAW to the undefeated Samoan in a match before this. The best part of this match was Maria bouncing. Both of these men were great at being a big man but they couldn’t put a match together here that didn’t resemble all the excitement of grass growing.
Winner: Umaga got the win with the Samoan Spike.
- Champion Big Show is offered a deal for the main event. He declines in a rather rude manner that involves turning a scepter sideways.
- Todd and Maria back out again. Todd serves no purpose. Maria bounces.
Match 2: Tag Team
Stipulation: Pick the match type
Choices: Texas Tornado 50%, Tag Team Turmoil 35% and Fatal 4-Way 15%
Cryme Tyme vs Viscera and Charlie Haas vs The Highlanders vs Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
Notes and Opinion: The tag team division was a big lump of ice cold shit at this point. It was a cluster of a match that was hard to keep up with and only slightly entertaining. Match highlights included Viscera’s white pajamas and the redneck version of Total Elimination Cade and Murdoch hit right before the finish. Cryme Tyme was undefeated here so they had to get the win. The idea behind JTG and Shad is they were from the “hood” therefore were thieves and hustlers. Pretty sure that was a bit racist.
Winner: Cryme Tyme steals the pinfall. That was the entire racist joke.
- After the match Cryme Tyme stole the King’s laptop and possibly billfold. Unfortunately Lawler still had 2 payments left on that laptop.
- Shawn Michaels is backstage trying to use a computer like that Uncle you have that still believes that Hi-Def TV’s aren’t that much better than regular def. HHH comes back and stirs him up about not being controversial. Apparently Shawn screwed Bret and HHH married some lady. To prove his point Shawn Super Kicks everyone backstage including poor Stan. Stan took that hit so hard that he later became Tye Dillinger and can only count in multiples of ten.
- Todd and Maria are out to announce the opponent for Jeff Hardy…Maria bounces.
Match 3: Intercontinental Championship
Stipulation: Pick the opponent
Choices: Carlito 62%, Shelton Benjamin 25% and Johnny Nitro 13%
(C) Jeff Hardy vs Carlito
Notes and Opinion: All 3 of the choices were decent so Carlito wasn’t a bad choice. This was a good match but it seemed as though they were going through the motions to get to the finish. The really hot contested part was to see who could rock the worst hair. My vote was for Jeff because Carlito didn’t have to try much for his.
Winner: Jeff gets the pin off the Swanton.
- Recap of the DX and Rated RKO feud
- Maria… and yeah Todd was there I guess.
Match 4: Tag Team
Stipulation: Pick the guest referee
Choices: Eric Bischoff 60%, Jonathon Coachman 20% and Mr. McMahon 20%
Degeneration X vs Rated RKO
Notes and Opinion: This was a fine old school tag team match that lived up to expectations. The ending was never in doubt since all 3 referee choices hated DX to different degrees but the getting there was fun. DX was super over with the fans which made every move in the match mean a little more. HHH almost looked fat here as he was big but not cut in any way, shape or form. It was nice of DX to put over the younger team but as you can see in the winners section it took almost an act of God for them to actually do so.
Winner: Rated RKO gets the pin after Bischoff screwing them, a chair shot by Edge and an RKO on a chair.
- Promo for the Marine with John Cena still in trying to be a rapper voice mode.
- RKO starts the celebration and wishes Lita luck in her match. Todd says something dumb but Maria wasn’t with him so I didn’t pay attention.
- All the Divas came to the ring in various state of undress to give Lawler a heart attack and thankfully a fake one.
- Yay! Maria gets to be alone. I hate you Todd.
Match 5: Women’s Championship
Stipulation: Pick the match type
Choices: Lumber Jills 46%, No DQ 40% and Submission 14%
Lita vs Mickie James
Notes and Opinion: This would be your T and A segment for the night and it delivered. Trish had won the title not long before and retired with it making this match necessary. Both women were fine wrestlers but this match seemed to be here just so they could make whore jokes about Lita and every woman showing bits of skin. I like skin but my favorite part of the match that had 20 hot women in it was that someone actually brought up Jos Leduc while they were looking at these women. Also why would all the women be out there if it wasn’t going to be a Lumber Jill match?
Winner: Lita gets the pin and the title after a sweet ass DDT. NEW CHAMPION!
- Spirit Squad seems to be having issues back stage. How did Dolph survive this junk?
- Maria and that jerk are out to give the next results.
Match 6: World Tag Team Championship
Stipulation: Choose the Tag partner for Ric Flair
Choices: Roddy Piper 46%, Dusty Rhodes 35% and Sgt. Slaughter 19%
(C) Spirit Squad (Kenny and Mikey with Johnny, Mitch and Nicky) vs Ric Flair and Roddy Piper with Dusty Rhodes and Sgt. Slaughter
Notes and Opinion: After them rigging the voting on the last match I wish they would have done so here and Dusty Rhodes could have won a WWE Championship. Piper looked less than in ring shape here but luckily this wasn’t going to be a work rate type of match. The old guys got the upper hand and got one over on the young cheaters holding the belts. The best part of the match was Dusty and the rest of the Geriatric Horsemen busting moves that hadn’t been seen since the age of disco.
Winner: Mikey taps out to the Figure Four. NEW CHAMPIONS!
- King Booker and Queen Sharmell speak to Cena about the main event. Booker needed to be a Hall of Famer strictly on his awesomely bad accent here. Cena agreed to help Booker if he could have one night with Sharmell who quickly became a racial stereotype. Booker sent her to the hall and quickly agreed which grossed out Cena. He wants to fight to be Champion of Champions. He does cover for Booker when they go in the hall briefly before stating that he would get to watch Booker, Hacksaw Duggan and his 2 x 4 along with Hornswaggle in a group session later. Ron Simmons then appears to DAMN this entire thing.
- We see Maria and her idiot side kick for the final time tonight.
Match 7: Triple Threat Champion of Champions
Stipulation: Pick whose Championship would be defended
Choices: World Heavyweight 67%, ECW 21% and WWE 12%
World Heavyweight Champion King Booker with Queen Sharmell vs ECW Champion Big Show vs WWE Champion John Cena
Notes and Opinion: To start off I am glad Big Show took a couple of years off and got him-self back in shape. He looked like he was about to die out there and was at least 150lbs overweight and I honestly was worried for his well-being even though I know he’s alive. This match wasn’t very good. Big Show looked terrible, Cena was still a couple months from getting better and Booker was 90% accent and 10% ring work. With no one to carry the action it fell apart into a boring mess. Cena nailed the Queen with the FU (Attitude Adjustment) and hitting a woman makes you not a nice guy so K-FED interfering may have been karma. Unfortunately we had to end this show on a down note all the way around.
Winner: King Booker after, let me check my notes here…Kevin Federline interferes. KEVIN FEDERLINE? Apparently Mr. Federline was married to Britney Spears and ruined her life which made him a tough guy and want to fight 250lb muscle bound John Cena. So he was smart.
Overall Thoughts: I just watched this show again and barely remember it…that isn’t good. It wasn’t an actively bad show it’s just nothing really jumped out at you as being memorable or great. We still have a couple more of these to get through so maybe they figure it out but at this point it seemed like a PPV for the sake of a PPV and that barely works.
All Images Available at WWE.com
Follow me on Twitter- at bigredfrench